Molly Malleis's Tribute (Brian's Vigil)

For those of who don’t know me, my name is Molly. By blood Brian is my cousin, through life Brian is my brother.

For the first half of my life we were sidekicks, a dynamic duo known as “Brian and Molly”. Never, never to be called “Molly and Brian.” Personally, I know Brian loved being referred to first!

You may think with the time we spent together that I would have a plethora of stories to choose from and share with you….but actually it is quite the opposite as I try to recall specific instances. I think back to childhood and I can’t remember a thing we did together. But what I can tell you is what seemed like every waking moment outside of school, we were by each other’s side.

There are 3 things I think about when I think of Brian and our duo.

Laughter. Intensity. Volume.

Laughter: Brian and I were always laughing. He and I never once fought and I can’t tell you a time I was ever mad at him or he at me. We were both fully aware that each has had their share of poor decisions, challenges, and struggles. But we had an unconditional relationship that involved no judgments and an understanding that both of us are just who we are. There was an ease we had with each other that allowed us to simply be. Brian was the only person in my life I have never once felt like I needed to change something about or tame some aspect of myself or my personality.

Intensity: Brian and Molly, separately, intense individuals. Together, an intensity unmatched. Often times people are unclear how to handle such intensity. Brian could not care any less….he was who he was and he wasn’t apologizing for it.

Brian was brave and courageous and he had helped me do what I want to do and be who I want to be in life.

Volume: Shear Volume. I could never let this evening end without mentioning this. Brian and I were loud, really-really loud…all the time.

We often needed to be reminded to lower our voices. Whenever Uncle Tim started and stopped with a simple “Frabbits, Scarfy”, we knew it was time to quiet it down pretty quickly and we had better remember to keep it that way.

Then there is perhaps that most frequently heard phrase in the Casey/Malleis childhood…the one anyone of us could recite, created by Aunt Mo, used by many.
“Brian and Molly, could you please lower your voices about 2 decibels!”

Somewhere in our youngest days he became “My Bri, Bri.” Rumor has it he didn’t like Bri. I have to laugh that I gave him the punch of doubling it up. Sorry, bro, I didn’t know but I have to believe that you were ok with it as last month we sat we together and I asked you if had prepared your lady and knew yourself that the fact was at 65 yrs old I’d still be calling you “My Bri, Bri.” You got that incredible grin, dimples popped, shoulders rolled, and you belly laughed saying “yeah, I know Mol!” Well, just so you know buddy….death doesn’t change that!

Now, I KNOW this is a celebration of Brian’s life so I will end with a story but first I need to let the other half of this duo know that today:

The laughter isn’t as full.
The intensity is dampened.
The volume is way too low.

So I smoked my first cigarette with Brian. I drank my first drink with Brian. I went to my first club with Brian. And I skipped my first church service with Brian.

Skipping our first church service went like this: I got in the red escort at the Rockford House one Sunday morning. Let me clarify that we all know Brian was a rule breaker- me not so much- so this had me a little nervous!! Brian and Meg were already in the car- Meg right in line with Brian’s plan. As I close the door Brian states “So, we aren’t going to church today. Here is what’s going to happen. First, we are going to go get a bulletin. Second, we are going to go get a soda. THEN, we go to the park!” So we pull up into the church parking lot and he looks at me and says “Now go get the bulletin.” I do and we are off to get sodas. After getting the soda we are sitting at a stop light on the way to the park. Something out of the corners of our eyes catches our attention, we all look and there is a car with 3 people in it, waving at us….Uncle Tim, Aunt Theresa, and Mom. I am mortified and nervously ask him, voice shaking “What do we do now?” He promptly and confidently replies “We go to the park, they already know!!!”

I love you Bri, Bri!!